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How Would These Hollywood Hunks Protect Their Junk?

How Would These Hollywood Hunks Protect Their Junk?

3 minute read

I have found myself, once again, pondering the beautiful bulges of some of the most gorgeous men in the movies. I’ve matched up some of my favorite Hollywood hunks with the condoms I think would fit perfectly with their personalities.

Brad Pitt - There is so much to say about Brad...he’s incredibly sexy, he rides around on a motorcycle, he’s married to one of Hollywood’s most seductive women, and he’s the father to one of the coolest gang of kids ever. Not to mention, he’s the ambassador for an advocacy group that provides AIDS relief to Africa. So, of course, the sensitivity, strength and dependability of the Crown Skinless Skin Condoms would be a perfect fit for this loving, dedicated husband and advocate of safe sex.

Ryan Gosling - When it comes to choosing a condom, I feel like Mr. Gosling would go with something to please his woman. With the cute-as-a-button and humorously women-sensitive Ryan Gosling “Hey Girl” memes floating all over the internet, his dreamy awareness for the opposite sex make the Durex Intense Sensation the perfect choice. With the 10 rows of ribs at the condom’s head, followed by raised studs at the base, this condom says “Hey Girl, let me make this a night you’ll never forget.”

George Clooney - Like a fine wine, George Clooney is a man who gets better with age. Ever since his days on ER as Dr. Doug Ross, the caring pediatrician and ladies man, we’ve all known Mr. Clooney to be perfect in every way. So, what is more fitting than the Durex XXL Condoms, the condom for the man with the big package to go along with his big heart.

Disclaimer: There is no actual proof that George Clooney has an XXL package, this is simply a fantasy. A girl can dream. Mr. Clooney is, however, welcomed to come to our headquarters and put this case to rest. You can also email me personally with pictures.

James Franco - Despite his controversial role in this year’s spring break parody flick Spring Breakers, my favorite James Franco character has got to be Daniel Desario in the short-lived TV series Freaks and Geeks. Franco’s character was in one of the only sexually-active couples in the high school, and he had little ambition unless it came to hitting the bong, rolling around in the sheets or listening to/playing heavy metal. This is why the super thin, super strong Durex Extra Sensitive would be a no-brainer for Mr. Franco/Daniel Desario- they have a unique contoured shape, and come with plenty of headroom at its top...The condom for the head-banger in all of us.

Jon Hamm - Don Draper, from the AMC TV Series Mad Men, is one of the few fictional characters in the show that actually gets me...hot. As an alpha male who prides himself on always staying a few paces ahead of the pack, I imagine Don would be a fan and sure to buy the Okamoto 004 - a condom that uses the latest state of the art technology to push pleasure boundaries. While, Japanese condoms are known for their ability to be ultrathin without compromising on strength and durability, the Okamoto 004 is rumored to be the very best and thinnest condom available in the US. I can’t imagine Jon/Don would settle for anything less.

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