Q: Sex Positions and Height Differences?

A: You know, life is already difficult enough for us short people. As a person with a partner who is also much taller than her, I feel your pain, friend.

Instead of thinking that your height puts you at a disadvantage during sex, use it to your advantage. It’s what makes you, you after all, and a part of why your partner wants expend vital energy on pleasuring you.

The bed may be the great equalizer, but for some couples, it isn’t enough. Until having sex in zero gravity is a thing (and we hope it is very soon), there are a few things and positions you can do to make life easier. Most of these positions refer to penetrative sex-- either vaginal or anal. If that’s not what you’re doing with your partner, they can be adjusted accordingly.

1. Shower Sex

If the penetrator is the taller partner: nothing disappointed me more than when I realized shower sex was not going to be a thing with my boyfriend. So many steamy fantasies, out the window, just because my pelvis was a little too low! But that doesn't mean mismatched partners can’t make waves in the bath or pool. For some aquatic fun, implement cowgirl or reverse cowgirl while your partner is in a seated position. If you're in a pool with steps or hot tub, our Hot Tub Hug is perfect. Just make sure you use some water-proof lube, like WET Platinum.

If the penetrator is the shorter partner: the first thing you'll need to get is a bath mat. Look for one with extra traction-- those sticky strips won't do it! You'll need something that will really grip your feet. The next thing you'll need is some sturdy shower bars-- the sort that are used for the elderly or handicapped to get out of the tub. Once you've got these and you're sure they're sturdy enough, have the taller, receptive partner spread their legs wide to get down low, and get a good grip. Don't attempt anything if you don't feel safe!

2. Doggy Style

If the penetrator is the taller partner: If you’re attempting doggy style, we suggest giving your partner mad props! You may find some help from a certified sex pillow, but just a stack of your every-days should work well enough. If the person being penetrated is the smaller one, position the pillows under your hips to get a little extra elevation. Depending on the height of your bed, couch, kitchen table, or anything else, you may also be able to use your furniture for that extra leverage. Either bend over one of these things and guide your partner in, or use a position like the Bed Spread for pro-mode.

If the penetrator is the shorter partner: some sites recommend having the receiving partner spread their knees so their shorter partner can reach, but there gets to be a point where you're basically doing the splits and that could be uncomfortable. It may help to move a pillow or mattress on to the floor so the penetrating partner can get some good space and leverage. An anonymous source also recommends using stairs, if you have them at your disposal!

3. Spooning

For both: spooning sex is great. Instead of having the weight of someone else on top of you, potentially someone much larger than you, everyone’s equal and everyone’s comfortable. This is a great position too, because it doesn’t matter who’s penetrating and who’s receiving. Our Saucy Spoons position works just as well for vaginal sex as it does for anal, although you may need to adjust yourself to get it into the proper position for vaginal.

4. Wall Sex

If the penetrator is taller: Who doesn't have a wall sex fantasy? If the partner being penetrated is smaller and if you are able to lift them, this may be a good option to try. If you aren't sure about your strength, take precautions by doing it above pillows, or try using a sex swing.

If the penetrator is shorter: You can still simulate wall sex... sort of. Have your partner sit and spread on chair, then wrap their legs around you. It may not give you that heat-of-the-moment feel, but it'll get pretty close. Sex swings are also great for this-- they can be used by either or both partners and can be adjusted!

Not all these positions will be perfect for your situation, but try them out if you're able. Even if you don't have a significant height difference, they may explore a new area of pleasure for you.