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How-To: Use Condoms on Sex Toys
Already muttering, “How difficult can it be? I mean, you just unroll a condom over a toy, right? Done and done.” Well, not exactly. Want to know why? Well don’t be shy-- come hither and together let’s explore the in’s and out’s of how- o use condoms on sex toys.
In addition to the how, we will go into the why.
Obviously, contraception isn't a valid reason for using condoms on sex toys-- but keeping your sex toys like new, turning a potentially toxic material into a body-safe one, avoiding cross contamination of flora between orifices/partners and STD/STI protection are all important reasons for creating a barrier between you and your toys.
Huh? Silicone Eats Itself?
Adult toys are comprised of a seemingly infinite amount of materials and material composites. Combine this mystery melange of materials with the surprisingly wide range of lube ingredients found on lubricated condoms, and predicting the compatibility of things suddenly become less and less clear.
Isn’t ruining a shiny new sex toy just the pits? Seems like such a waste. What’s up with high-quality silicone lube eating away at lesser grade silicone? You gosh darn slippery savages. You're all a bunch of no good cannibals. Cannibals, I say!
Why can't condoms, lubes and toys just all just get along and learn to play nice with one another? It's all a matter of excited molecules. After all, even lube can't slip through the cracks of scientific law!
And you better watch it-- this competition is fierce! The silicone-based bully is really degrading-- literally-- and will eat your toy up and spit it back out again, a slimy, rapidly disintegrating, pock-marked sliver of what it once was. Oh, the horror!
Don’t let this menace to fine and upstanding young silicone-composite sex toys take over your neighborhood. Keep a an ever watchful and vigilant eye on those all-consuming, pure silicone brutes-- which are constantly trying to pick a fight with toys hiding an impurity.
You can waylay the, “But I want silicooone! Wah!” tantrum you feel like having and remember that around here at the Condom Depot Learning Center headquarters, we do our very best to get you the info you need to keep yourself, your partner(s) and your products functioning in top form.
Feeling a little lost? Back up to the lube basics and learn all you need to know in, "Personal Lubricants: a Complete Guide."
Clean up Your (Sex) Act!
True to form, I somehow managed to explore using condoms on unconventional objects like cucumbers and zucchini but missed writing about something I do on the daily-- protecting my body, my partner's body, and my sex toys by using condoms as a barrier on sex toys when I masturbate and/or with play a partner.
No matter if you're using a pocket pussy, clitoral vibrator, masturbation sleeve, butt plug, rabbit vibrator or a realistic vagina-- putting on a condom prior to the bangfest is basically a posh wank but with penetration involved. Plus, it's the perfect excuse to experiment with the those condoms you're not sure will be right for you and as practice for putting on and taking off condoms with grace, safety and style.
If you think jackin' it or flicking the bean is a messy affair, imagine having to scrape out encrusted bodily fluids from the inner recesses of your sleeve or textured dildo. Not fun. Some would even call it downright grooling work.
After having to take cotton swabs, hunch over a sink and laboriously jab-scrub-pick all the tiny crevices with antimicrobial sex toy cleaner instead of just laying back and enjoying the afterglow, you'll understand why the ol' tie 'n toss in the trash method of clean-up you get from using condoms with sex toys is far superior. Believe me, once you polish yourself off, that's the last thing you want to polish for awhile (with the exception of polishing off a bottle of liquor).
After all, isn't dealing with those, "Oops, I spilled the lube!" stains on your fabrics difficult enough to deal with without any extra chores?
Want to keep your sex toy smelling like it's fresh from the box instead like it's fresh out of your box? With condoms, this isn't the impossible quest it once was. For those who masturbate during menstruation, enjoy anal play with toys, or if you ejaculate loads of semen inside the toy raw dog style, your relationship to your toy's scent can quickly turn sour.
All that living stuff inside of vaginas and anuses (the flora, made up of fungi and bacteria) is perfectly natural-- but like laundry left in the washer until it molds, time + flora and can be just as rough on the nose as it is on maintaining good reproductive health.
Using Condoms with Sex Toys Summary:
- Avoid using additional silicone-based lubricants, and condoms coated with silicone-based lubricants with silicone-based sex toys. If they're not all of the same quality or purity of silicone, this could spell disaster for your toy.
- If you are penetrating a toy, put the condom on yourself first. This is a great chance to find one you like and become more accustomed to wearing a condom during intercourse.
- If a toy is coming into contact with an exterior mucus membrane (vulva, perianal region) or being used for insertion into the body, put a condom on it. Change the condom before letting the toy come into contact with any other area of body to avoid the spread of fecal bacteria and/or viruses like herpes from one region of the body to the next.
- A condom barrier between skin and sex toys makes clean up easier, keeps your body safer from health risks and keeps your toy in the best possible condition, thereby greatly extending the lifespan of your favorite adult toy.