How-To: Creative Ways to Carry Condoms

Sexy times can spring up right when you least expect them to. You’re in your pajamas, picking crust out of your eyes and comparing prices on bulk kitty litter and toilet paper at 5AM, when suddenly an irresistible opportunity arises for some nookie. What are you to do? Let's discuss creative ways to carry condoms. 

Unless you happen to be wearing a Break Glass in Case of Emergency t-shirt, you’re screwed. And, not in the way you want to be.

In circumstances like this one, keeping condoms in the most unsuspecting of places pays off big time. Why risk missing out on the lovin’ or being tempted to go at it raw dog, when there are so many outside-of-the-box ways to carry condoms?

You're Leaving Us Hanging, Guys

Sadly, the Durex Love Box and the Trojan 2GO, both of which were designed by major condom manufacturers as a means of safely getting your condoms from point A to point B have been discontinued. This leaves us condom-toting folks at a bit of a loss… or does it?

Previous Information on Condom Strappin'

Hopefully, you’re already aware of condom sensitivity to temperature and sunlight, as discussed in ‘Why Do Condoms Break?’ Cars, pockets and wallets are all no-no’s for condom storage. Click these links to learn more about condoms and extreme temperatures.

And, speaking of the seasons, as the weather warms up check out our other informative Spring Break guide on ‘Staying Safe While Wearing Less’ which features bra pockets for condoms and secret stash flip flops.

Fun-Sized or King-Sized Wrapper?

Bear in mind that condom wrappers come in a variety of shapes and sizes. The good news about that is, bringing a square foil pack of lube along with you is a cinch as it's the same general size and shape as our condoms.

King-sized vs. Fun-sized-- measure your wrappers!

Nonetheless, obviously a Trojan Magnum XL wrapper (2.875" x 2.875") will be a larger size than say a Caution Wear Black Ice wrapper (2.25" x 2.25"). You may want to measure your favorite condom before hunting down the ideal carrying-case, as you don't want any portion of the wrapper to be trapped in the closing mechanism.

Safe Solutions for Stashing Your Sheaths:

Ready to mack at the drop of a hat? Read on to discover creative and discreet solutions to this continual, “Crap. How am I going to carry these condoms with me?” crisis.

For the Techno-Friendly Fornicators:

Commuter Otter Box

Designed to be an all-in-one companion on the go, the Commuter Series Wallet Case by Otter Box has a hidden compartment intended for secret storage of cash, ID and credit cards. But, you can forgo all of those silly things and pack a flavored condom or dental dam for your commute instead. Just be sure this is a temporary method, as the heat from your cell phone will damage the condom over time.

Game Boy Game Cartridge Cases

Today may be the day that 90's nostalgia and a lifetime of hoarding pays off for you. Remember those old Game Boy game cartridges you have in the basement or attic?

Laptop Bag

This one has been around since the days of Xerox Note Taker, and for good reason. With a plethora of extra pockets to choose from and constructed from durable fabrics, laptop bags provide a great way to scoot around town with condoms, with no one being the wiser.

For the Lo-Fi, Gettin’ Freaky Folks:

Hollowed Out Book

Show your favorite Pinky you've got a Brain by using this age-old condom hiding tactic-- a hollowed out book. Easy to make and virtually free from your local thrift shop, diaries work particularly well due to the locking mechanism on the side.

Deck of Cards Case/ Dice Bag

For all the playas out there, why gamble on contacting or passing along an STI or creating an unwanted pregnancy? Don't roll the dice with your future. Put a condom or two in your dice bag or sandwiched one in-between some playing cards for the best bet!

Cigarette Cases 

By now we've all quit smoking cigarettes (RIGHT?) so put that relic to good use. Stick your jimmy hats in it to discreetly keep them safe. Sized for larger condom wrappers like the Trojan condoms, cigarette cases are super easy to carry and draw little suspicion from others.

My Personal Idea

What was my first brilliant idea for taking condoms with me, in a tactful way? Buying a barrel of monkeys, making earrings out of the monkeys and stuffing the barrel full of fresh condoms-- a true testament to my maturity level. I did this for years without anyone finding out the actual contents of this bright blue, plastic barrel.