You're at home and fresh out of lube, but you hear the phantom call of an impending sexual release. What are you to do? DIY lube!

We’ve already covered the topic of good bathroom items for masturbation, but what about making your own condom safe lube at home? Join me and let's dive into the realm of DIY lube!

The craze of late is using coconut oil as a personal lubricant, but I have yet to try it by myself for fear of a zit attack. I'm not at all convinced that I need oils soaking into the pores of my nether regions. Plus, since I use Crown Skinless Skin condoms brand latex condoms, the consequences of using any oil with a partner would be far too severe for my comfort level.

In my case, any kind of burning, I mean, warming, lube has had nearly disastrous outcomes on my sensitive lady parts and water-based lubes tend to send me into yeast production overdrive (which is a side effect of sugar-based ingredients like glycol or glycerine.) Baby oil was my go-to lube for solo play for a long time, but the lube stains and incompatibility with some of my toys was leaving me less than thrilled. And, again, the latex condom and zit issues.

In general, my attitude towards lube has been: stick with what you know you like. I have been a loyal Pjur fan from the get-go, and their silicone-based Original BodyGlide is a force that no other lube has reckoned with, in my opinion. But, as someone who is always up for trying new things, especially if it involves some sort of vaguely scientific mixing of ingredients and a way to save money. So, what's a curious safer sexologist to do? Create my own lube masterpiece, of course! Remember folks, it's all in the name of science.

How To: DIY Lube

Following two general recipes for these all-natural, glycerine-free homemade lubes was really easy, I must say. Firstly, I went for the two ingredient no brainer- cornstarch and water lube. Making the lube required only cornstarch and water. I boiled it on my stovetop in an uncovered in a pot for ten minutes, adjusting the water to cornstarch levels accordingly to end up with my desired thickness and opacity, while stirring frequently.

Pour into a lidded container and refrigerate. It felt like a really watered down version Jo Agape Woman Sex Lube when I was done. It was OK, and able to get the job done, but it certainly wasn't great by any means-- due to its short-lived slickness and seemingly ever fleeting moisture.

For my second foray into the realm of making my own lube, I took a trip to my local health food store for some bulk flax seeds, which contain a natural oil. The moisturizing quality of these ingredients is raved about by many and they are found in many cereals, cookies, etc as a skin enhancing and moisturizing ingredient. All I did was boil the seeds in filtered water in an uncovered pot on the stovetop for a few minutes, strain out the seeds and I added a dash of peppermint oil.

I immediately stored my new lube in a Tupperware container in the fridge. It felt fantastic and was quite durable, without a lot of tackiness. I would compare this homemade lube to a really high-quality hybrid lube, like Sliquid Silk.

Verdict

I liked this lube so much more than the first cornstarch batch-- really there is no comparison on quality. However, convenience and price wise, the first lube wins hands down. Few people have flax seeds sitting around their cabinet, but many are likely to have cornstarch in the house. A half of Jo Agape Woman Sex Lube costs around $3.99 versus the cost of cornstarch plus water, which was around $1.00. The non-GMO flaxseed and organic peppermint oil ran me around $24.00 which, as I just realized, costs way more than a 4.2 oz bottle of Sliquid Silk which is only $13.99. In comparison to my old favorite, Pjur Original, which is $28.99 for 3.4 oz-- the DIY lube is only a few dollars less. Considering the amount of work, shopping and dish washing involved in the DIY lube making process, I'll undoubtedly be sticking to my tried and true Pjur lube.

DIY Disclaimer

And, we have reached the disclaimer portion of the article. Like in the DIY adult toy and DIY erection rings articles, the DIY instructions above are an account of my own personal experience. The ingredients used in the making of these lubes are FDA approved for ingestion, but not for internal or sexual use. Take the peppermint oil, for instance. Knowing that mint is in many personal lubricants, I added it to mine-- but some people may an adverse reaction to mint, much like I experience with warming lubes.

How To: DIY Lube Shooter

But wait, there's more!  No DIY lube experiment is complete without making a DIY lube shooter! Granted, the real deal is inexpensive and easy to get, requiring less than $10.00 and the ability to click, and it comes with 3 disposable tips-- but hey-- if you’re stuck in the woods with no wifi and you gotta lube up with a quickness-- here are the 5 DIY methods I tried. When you eager to get to oh-so-wets-ville in a pinch, take the time to be safe by remembering this tip: make sure the makeshift shooter is filled with all liquid and no air. Injecting air into the vagina or anus is risky and unhealthy.

1. Turkey Baster- An ever-popular alternative to the lube shooter, this item is readily available for purchase from big box stores in the grocery aisles. Cost- $2.00
2. Tampon Applicator- Why not get creative and go green by using your plastic applicator as a lube shooter for masturbation? Cover the smaller tube with your finger, fill applicator with lube and insert and plunge. Cost- Free
3. 8 oz Condiment Dispenser- Get a new one is you don’t want to spend hours cleaning out the mustard remnants prior to use. Buy at a restaurant supply company or in the picnic section of a big box store. Cost- $2 (or free if reused)
4. Funnel and Hose- They’re not just for beer bongs, they can also be used for administering a hearty dose of lube. Buy them at an automotive parts shop or in the auto section of a big box store. Cost- $4.00
5. Plastic Syringe- Not the kind with a needle on the end, these syringes are made entirely of plastic and are available at medical supply stores or craft stores (for gluing small items). Cost- $3.00