I love reading Cosmo. They sometimes have interesting articles, but a lot of the time, the silliest sex tips make the cut and actually get published. 

Where did you find these dudes, Cosmo? Are they even real? We’ve revised some of our favorite ones to make them a little less zany and a little more sexy.

"Do what my first girl did: Moan my name while I pleasure you." –Eddie, 28

Wow, digging deep for that one, huh, Eddie? That’s great and all, and it can be done super hot. But let’s spice it up.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS: 

Don't just moan your partner's name. Look into their eyes with your best smoldering gaze to really amp up how important they are to your pleasure.

"My lady likes to lie facedown on the bed, with her legs straight and her arms at her sides. To enter her, I have to push past her legs and cheeks. The resistance is really hot." ---Lyle, 21

Maybe she’s just really tired? That’s basically how I sleep.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS:

Our Arc de Triomph position creates that same, sexy resistance but it'll feel more intimate.

"Make me explode during doggie-style sex by turning your face to the side and making out with me." –Paul, 35

Not all of us can date contortionists, Paul! In theory, this sounds hot, but the actual dimensions might be impossible for the less flexible out there.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS:

Begin with doggy-style while on a bed that is against the wall. Then, right before you both lose it, scoot her closer to the wall so that she can sit all the way up on her knees. She can use the wall for balance. Now have her turn her head and make out with you. Not only will this push you in from a new, exciting angle, but adding making out to the mixture always brings the thermometer up a little.

"When you're near the point of no return, whisper four-letter words into my ears—the really dirty ones." –Fred, 23

Could you be more specific? Because the dirtiest four-letter word I know is, ‘poop.’ Or maybe, ‘fart.’ Yeah, definitely, ‘fart.’ And if I whisper that during sex, I’m going to laugh until I do exactly that.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS:

Narrate what you’re doing to your partner as dirty as possible. You can even make them ask you for it. “Should I lick here? Oh yeah? Is that what you really want? How badly do you want it?” The delay will heighten the tension and leave your partner begging you for attention.

"Flick just the tip of my penis under your tongue. Do it over and over. It would take hours for me to climax this way, but man, what a way to pass the time!" –Keith, 22

Look, Keith, I don’t even have TiVo. Sitting around with peen in my mouth for hours at a time is going to put a serious damper on my free time and that just ain't cool.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS:

Pause your head bobbing and deep-throating (if you can) every few thrusts to give the tip of his penis that oh-so-gentle flick. This will give him a more acute, sensitive sensation in between the more engulfing ones.

"Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can." Jamie, 30

Does anyone remember indian burns as a kid? Those horrible things your big brother would coerce you into suffering through because otherwise he’d throw you down the stairs? Do you really want one on your junk? Because I’ll be frank, Jamie: I don’t want to give your junk one.

INSTEAD, TRY THIS:

With lubed up hands, twist (gently!) with one hand as your stroke up and down, then make a cup with the other of the head of his penis. As you stroke, you can kind of wobble the head of the penis around the cup made by your other hand. It’s kind of a weird sensation, but your dude will go nuts over it.