The Canadian postal workers strike is effective November 29, 2024 and is indefinite as of the publishing of this blog post.

Oh Canada, Why Have You Forsaken Us?
A Sarcastic Love Letter from Condom Depot’s Totally Not Frustrated Owner

Well, folks, it’s happened. Canada, our friendly neighbor to the north, has gone full-on strike mode with their postal workers. I’d like to say I’m surprised, but honestly, this feels like the natural next step for a government that probably spends more time debating moose policies than ensuring their citizens get essential mail.

You know what’s essential? Condoms. You know what’s not getting to you via USPS right now? Condoms. Why? Because Canada Post decided to pack it up, leaving us holding the proverbial bag down here at Condom Depot HQ.

The Problem:

As of now, we’re unable to ship to Canada via USPS, thanks to your striking postal system. Why? Because apparently, Canada Post thinks mail just isn’t that important. Holiday cards? Nope. Bills? Who needs ‘em. Protecting your “north pole” during a holiday hookup? Guess again.

The (Temporary) Solution:

Fear not, sexually responsible Canadians! While USPS is out of the picture, we’re still shipping to Canada via UPS. Sure, it’s not as cheap as USPS, but at least it works. Your condoms will arrive safe, sound, and ready to protect you from holiday mishaps. During checkout, all CA postal codes will ONLY pull UPS rates so there's no way to screw it up. 

Who’s to Blame?

Now, I’m no expert on Canadian labor laws (nor do I want to be), but let me just throw out a wild idea here: maybe your government could actually negotiate with their postal workers instead of letting the whole system grind to a halt? Just a thought.

In the meantime, the rest of us will be over here, not striking, and making sure that people get their essential items—like condoms—on time.

Why It Matters:

Let’s face it: nothing says “Happy Holidays” like safe, consensual fun. And yet, thanks to this strike, you’re being forced to choose between waiting out Canada Post’s antics or paying a little extra for UPS shipping. Honestly, it’s like the Grinch came early and stole your birth control options.

What Can You Do?

1. Write a strongly worded letter to Justin Trudeau. Actually, don’t—he might not get it until next year. And, honestly, he might now be able to read anyway. 
2. Order your condoms from us using UPS. Trust me, it’s worth it.
3. Send Canada Post some holiday cheer in the form of cookies, or maybe just some common sense.

So, until this strike ends, we’re here, gritting our teeth and shipping via UPS. And while we’d love to be sarcastically thanking Canada Post for this mess, we’ll save our breath (and our shipping labels) for something more productive.

Happy holidays, Canada. You’re making it weird, but we still love you.

Sincerely,
Condom Depot’s Over-It-But-Still-Trying Owner