Did you just down a Patron margarita on the rocks, chug a craft stout, shoot some double Jameson neat and chase it all with down a numbing blur of Mind Erasers? Grab a bottle of water, focus your vision and join me for in depth discussion about two of my favorite things-- alcohol and erections.

We’ve already talked a bit about how excessive alcohol can lead to vaginal dryness (which I think should be dubbed, “vodka vagina”). But, women aren’t the only ones whose genitals are affected by drinking. Whiskey dick is all too real, and if you or your partner haven’t experienced it for yourselves yet-- you may either live in a dry county or have a bathtub-gin-level of tolerance built up. For the rest of us, here is a breakdown of the how and why of whiskey dick syndrome:

What The Frick is Whiskey Dick?

No, I am not referring to Whiskey Dick mountain in the great state of Washington. Whiskey dick is a slang term for alcohol having an unintended side effect on the penis which either leads to the inability to become erect or the inability to orgasm. It affects men of all ages, regardless of prowess and past performance history.

These irksome conditions occurs for a few different reasons. Alcohol consumption diminishes the sensitivity of nerve endings because it is central nervous system depressant. It also has a negative effect on blood circulation and oxygen levels, which are both a key components of a solid erection.

Erect, But Unable to Achieve an Orgasm

Ever throw back a few cocktails, hook up with a hottie and you just kept going and going and going? Was it such a long humpfest that you already felt the start of a hangover, yet you hadn’t even ejaculated yet? On the plus side, being the Energizer bunny and working overtime in bed has an upside- more time for your partner to reach climax.

But, since your partner is likely to also be dehydrated, using additional lube is an absolute must, in order to keep your condom intact. The extra heat created from the from all of the bumpin' and grindin' friction can also lead to discomfort. Try using the Wink Slider Condoms with Jo Naturalove Organic Lube lube or Caution Wear Wild Rose Ribbed Condoms condom with Probe Lube Thick & Rich lube for the ultimate safe and fun whiskey dick bone-anza.

Limp and Out of Luck

The flip side of the whiskey dick coin is not being able to become erect, at all, no matter how stimulating your partner or your environment may be. This can be very disheartening and disappointing to everyone involved. While a less than stellar erection can be enhanced with an erection ring, like the Screaming O DoubleO Vibrating Ring, oftentimes alcohol won't even allow a half-mast erection to form.

But, don't assume that or your partner is now and forever impotent. This erectile dysfunction will pass once the alcohol leaves the system. But, you can still mess around with your partner-- using adult toys or by performing oral or manual sex. Try the iVibe Rabbit for a unique and safer combination of oral and manual sex, since dealing with the maneuvering mechanics of using a dental dam may be more difficult than usual due to the spins.

Delicately Dealing with Whiskey Dick

Partners: do not take this temporary affliction personally. If you’ve been banging away for so long that the sun is now rising and your roommates are up, eating cereal and watching Arrested Development, it may be time to let the expectation of his orgasm fade. Gently explain the situation and, if you are so inclined, offer a rain check.

If you are working your magic and pulling out all the stops and your partner still cannot become erect, don’t feel like you aren’t good enough or get upset and think they aren’t attracted to you. This is not the case. It is a physical reaction to an intoxicant- and it is not an indication of a lack of lust or love.

Whiskey Dick Avoidance: Dating Solutions

If you’re on a date and expect the possibility of sex as a nightcap, don’t have more than 3 drinks while out on your date. As the name implies, dark liquors may have a greater effect on erections and orgasms than beer, wine and clear liquors do. So, if you’re planning on getting some-- get a Bud instead of a Jack.

The rule of thumb I follow, is one alcoholic drink followed by one glass of water. This 1:1 ratio is what works best for me, but others may find this to be overkill. At the very least for go for a 2:1 ratio. And, eating something light during the course of the night, like a kale salad, isn’t a bad idea either.